DOOR 9

(AMELIA THEME BUT MAKE IT CHRISTMAS!!!!)

ØYSTEIN

The Amelia Project Audio Advent Calendar. Door nine.

(CLICK)

INTERVIEWER

It's the 9th of December, and today I am going to show you one of the most important tools of any death faker!

(A THUD)

Now this is the Catalog of New Identities! Yes… Page upon page of lives that could be yours...

(HE OPENS IT AND FLICKS THROUGH IT)

One determining factor when gauging the quality of a death faking business, is the size of their catalog. Hm! How many different countries can you choose from? How many professions? What age range do they offer? What about hair colors, living arrangements or hobbies? Does the identity come with a complimentary life partner or pet?

Hmhmm! Yes!

You see - all of these things must be taken into careful consideration. And remember: Any death faking company worth their salt can offer a new identity on any continent! Let's browse!

(HE OPENS A PAGE)

This chapter is dedicated to Christian clergy. Perhaps you’d like to resurface as a priest, a pastor, a vicar, a friar, a rector, a bishop or a pope?

A pope? A pope?! No, that can't be right. That must be out of date. We offered papacies quite often in the twelfth century. Not so much anymore. I'll get rid of that…

(HE TEARS OUT THE PAGE AND THROWS IT AWAY. ANOTHER PAGE FALLS OUT)

Huh. A loose page.

(HE PICKS IT UP)

Oh. (SIGHS) Oh, it's that one. This is an identity which I have been trying to get someone to take for years! I don't understand why nobody wants it! I mean - it's a lordship, for god's sake!

Suppose I might try again with tomorrow's client...

(CLICK)

END OF EPISODE.