EPISODE 50 - MIA FOX Hello it’s Pip here welcoming you to another episode of the Amelia Project. It’s time to catch up with agents Mia Fox and Jackie Williams, and Kozlowski again. Last time they had started off on a road trip to Scotland, only for Mia to turn the car around and head back to London while Jackie was sleeping. We catch up with them as they’re approaching the CIA headquarters in London. Today’s episode is dedicated to Angel Acevedo whose generous Patreon support is an enormous help. Enjoy the show. PROLOGUE INT. MIA AND JACKIE'S CAR. THEY'RE DRIVING THROUGH LONDON. (SILENCE. JUST THEM BREATHING. FROM JACKIE'S BREATH, SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S FUMING QUIETLY) MIA Will you say something, please? (SCOFFS) MIA Come on, Jackie! This is ridiculous! You have to speak to me! (SILENCE) MIA Fine, your choice. Your loss! (JACKIE SNORTS) MIA Okay, so where is the US embassy parking lot...? That's the New Mill Road Parking Lot... (TO KOZLOWSKI) That's where we lost you last time, so let's not park there... KOZLOWSKI Did you say you "lost" me? MIA Oh yeah, when you were still knocked out. Those two MI5 guys, Cole and Haines, they stole you right there in that parking lot. And- And then we stole you back. But then they stole you again. And then we dragged you all around London for the better part of a day…? KOZLOWSKI That explains the bruises. MIA Hm… sorry about that. KOZLOWSKI Now I can strike "being a MacGuffin" from my bucket list. MIA But aren't you glad you ended up with us in the end? Oh, look! That must be the embassy parking lot! (MIA PULLS UP, ROLLS DOWN THE WINDOW AND FLASHES HER CARD) MIA Agents Mia Fox and Jackie Williams. (TO JACKIE) Jackie, show your card! JACKIE (GRUNTS) SECURITY Sorry, ma'am, but the car park is full. MIA What? security Big event today, we don't have any space. It's O-SO-SAD. MIA Yes, it is sad, but (CHUCKLES) we need to park! security I'm afraid you'll have to park elsewhere. MIA Are there any other parking spaces around here? security There's New Mill Road, but they're normally full this time of day. MIA Yeah, we don't like New Mill Road... It can't be that hard to find somewhere to park, surely! security We're in London, ma'am. MIA Meaning…? security Good luck… (MIA SIGHS. SHE ROLLS DOWN THE WINDOW) MIA Well, then... I don't know. (SUDDENLY, JACKIE SPEAKS. SHE IS COMPOSED, BUT CLEARLY HOLDING A LOT BACK) JACKIE Listen. I am so angry, I don't even know where to start. The nerve! Driving back to London, when we had agreed to go to Scotland! Going back to the embassy, whilst I am asleep! We flipped a coin! MIA I don't let coins decide what I do! JACKIE We agreed! MIA I base my decisions on what's the right thing to do, and the right thing to do was going back! JACKIE The right thing to do? The right...?! (NEARLY BLOWING OVER) You think coming here was "right"?! MIA Yes! JACKIE (AUDIBLY HOLDS HER TONGUE AND LETS OUT A BREATH) Lord give me strength… MIA What? JACKIE Right now you look a lot like Justin Timberlake to me. MIA Justin Timberlake? JACKIE He broke up NSYNC!!! BEAT. MIA Well, we still need to figure out where to park - JACKIE (INTERRUPTS HER) I'll park the car. BEAT. I need to be by myself. You can take the clown and bring him to Miss Kennedy. MIA Okay. That's a good plan. That works. JACKIE (SCOFFS) Oh - The only reason that is a "good" plan is because it is the only plan that currently stops me from breaking all your fingers! MIA Jeez...! JACKIE We had a good plan! The good plan was to fake this guy's death, gather more evidence and then take what we found to Miss Kennedy. The PLAN was to make sure we came back with something solid, so that she would excuse our methods - such as - I don’t know - faking the death of a key suspect and going against a direct order to cooperate with MI5! THAT was the GOOD plan! MIA Uh… To be honest, Jackie, I always thought that plan was- JACKIE (CUTS HER OFF) But now, your plan is to reveal to Miss Kennedy that we still have Kozlowski, but without bringing her a shred of new evidence! MIA He's alive though? JACKIE Hrmph... Well, I wish you good luck! Truly, all the best to you on this valorous endeavor! Because you are going to need it! (THREATENING) Now get out of the car! MIA Good luck finding a parking spot - JACKIE (FRIGHTENINGLY CALM) Get out of the car… THEME TUNE INTRO The Amelia Project by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager with music and sound direction by Fredrik Baden. Design by Eli Hamada McIlveen. Episode 50 - Mia Fox. INTERVIEW INT. HALLWAY, US EMBASSY. (MIA HUMS. SHE IS CLEARLY BORED) KOZLOWSKI I truly wanted to take you to Scotland. MIA Forget it! Miss Kennedy is never going to allow it. KOZLOWSKI What a shame. It is a very beautiful place. (SILENCE) MIA Where is she? How long has it been? KOZLOWSKI It has been 47 minutes and 26 seconds since we sat down. MIA How do you know? You don't have a watch. KOZLOWSKI My body clock is accurate, down to the second. MIA Yeah, sure... I'll check my phone. (MIA GETS OUT HER PHONE) MIA Hm. Well, that was a good guess. It's been forty seven minutes. KOZLOWSKI It was not a guess. MIA No? You must have looked at a clock somewhere. (MIA LOOKS AROUND) I can't see any clocks in this hallway though… KOZLOWSKI I have not used clocks for many years. I find it much more accurate to simply feel the iron in my blood. MIA What? KOZLOWSKI My blood. The iron is affected by the gravitational pull of the sun and the moon. I have trained my senses to be acutely aware of my blood at all times. So, at any given point, I can tell what time it is, like a clock. That way I don't need technical remedies, all I need is presence of mind. MIA Right... Anyhow, I hope Jackie's back soon. KOZLOWSKI You don't want to face this Miss Kennedy on your own? MIA Not particularly. KOZLOWSKI Even though you know that your partner is angry with you? MIA Absurd, isn't it... (AN EMBASSY EMPLOYEE COMES THROUGH A DOOR, WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY) MIA Sorry! Excuse me! Hi! Do you work here? I've been waiting for nearly an hour, do you know when this event is over? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE It's O-SO-SAD, it will last until the wee hours of the morning, with the after-party and all. MIA Yeah, it's tragic. Now - EMBASSY EMPLOYEE (LAUGHS) That's funny! MIA What's funny? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE Your joke! MIA What joke? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE The tragic-joke. O-SO-SAD, tragic, ha ha... MIA Uhm - yeah, so this event - EMBASSY EMPLOYEE -O-SO-SAD. MIA Sad or not - is there any way to get hold of one of the participants? I need to speak to Miss Kennedy. EMBASSY EMPLOYEE "Sad or not" - ha ha! You've still got it! MIA Got what?! Can I or can I not see Miss Kennedy? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE Miss Kennedy? Oh, she'll be in there for a while still. This is the O-SO-SAD, remember. The program is packed. MIA The oh so sad? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE Yes. The O-SO-SAD; the Overseas Security Organisations' Seminar And Dinner. MIA Right... Right. EMBASSY EMPLOYEE (CON’T) They just finished the "Round-table on the Prevention of Cyber Crime and how to get Mark Zuckerberg to Pipe Down", and now they're having salmon. So I wouldn't have very high hopes of seeing anyone from that room anytime soon. MIA Well, are you going in there? Can you give Miss Kennedy a message from me? Tell her Agent Mia Fox needs to see her! Say it's urgent. EMBASSY EMPLOYEE More urgent than Gravlax with Gin and Juniper accompanied by Yo-Yo Ma on the trumpet? MIA I thought Yo-Yo Ma played the cello? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE Exactly! This is not to be missed! MIA I'll wait out here... Just please let Miss Kennedy know I'm here, will you? EMBASSY EMPLOYEE (WALKING OFF) I will if I see her! (THE EMBASSY EMPLOYEE DISAPPEARS DOWN THE HALL AND THROUGH A DOOR. WHEN THE DOOR OPENS WE BRIEFLY HEAR A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE HAVING DINNER) BEAT. MIA (SIGHS) So. Here we are... KOZLOWSKI Truer words were seldom spoken - though dumber words, by any token - even rarer yet... BEAT. MIA We should use this time to talk. KOZLOWSKI About what? MIA About something that's been bugging me. KOZLOWSKI Please, go ahead. MIA When I was assigned to this case - The Amelia Project investigation - I started studying the brief. Reading transcripts of interviews, listening to wire taps... and as I was doing that, I noticed this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't shake. Through all of the interviews, there was one thing that stood out to me, one surreal thing that kept coming up again and again and again... KOZLOWSKI And what was that? MIA Your preferred beverage. KOZLOWSKI (SURPRISED) Mountain Dew? MIA What? KOZLOWSKI Mountain Dew. My preferred beverage. MIA No! Cocoa! KOZLOWSKI (AUDIBLY SMILING) Ah. The cocoa… MIA What is it about the cocoa? KOZLOWSKI What do you mean? MIA Why serve it to all your clients? Why does your colleague drink so much of it? Is it a drug? Is it a code name for something? Have you added something to it? Tell me about the cocoa! BEAT. KOZLOWSKI Have you ever been close to death? MIA You're not answering my question. KOZLOWSKI I think in time you will find that I am. MIA Cocoa. KOZLOWSKI Death. Have you experienced it? MIA (DECIDING TO HUMOR HIM, SINCE SHE HAS NO OTHER CHOICE) Do you mean like a near death experience? KOZLOWSKI That is one option. Another option would be if you have been in close proximity of someone else's death. MIA I mean, my grandma passed when I was a child, but I was so small, I don't really remember it. KOZLOWSKI I see. So… not really. MIA I guess not. KOZLOWSKI Not even as an agent of the CIA? You have not had to deal with fallen friends, or extinguished enemies? MIA Before I came to London, I worked in an office. This is my first field assignment. KOZLOWSKI Congratulations. MIA Thanks - I guess. KOZLOWSKI Too bad we are not actually in the field then, but rather sitting in a hallway at the US Embassy. Where I was about to take you there is a very beautiful, very literal field. MIA I'm in London for the first time in my life. It's one of the world's greatest capitals. As soon as I get a day off, I'm heading straight for the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace. I'm good. KOZLOWSKI And you know nothing about death. That makes this very hard for me. MIA Why? KOZLOWSKI Because if death has not marked you, I cannot expect you to understand! MIA (IRONIC) Woe is me... (CHUCKLES) Huh. Actually... KOZLOWSKI Yes? MIA Nah, nothing. KOZLOWSKI Please tell? MIA Nah, I just thought of something... I don't think it's what you're asking for, though. KOZLOWSKI Please tell me anyway. I sense a story coming, and I love a good story! MIA Well, I saved someone's life once. So, I guess that means I was kind of close to death, I suppose. But I didn't really experience death as such. KOZLOWSKI You have my ear! MIA Alright, first I have to set the scene. I'm nineteen, and I am on the road with my band. KOZLOWSKI You were in a band? MIA I was a manager. Well, I kind of put this band together - like a supergroup kind of thing - only it was made up of teens from the tri-state area that had won a local singing contest or starred in some high school musical production. KOZLOWSKI You created a band? MIA Yeah. KOZLOWSKI That is a very dorky thing to do. MIA Yup. KOZLOWSKI (CON’T) Most people who are into music start playing an instrument. MIA Anyhow, we were on tour - I mean, it was mostly bar mitzvahs and block parties. But our biggest gig was this outdoor 4th July event in a local park. Our set has just started, and I'm standing at the back of the park watching, when this older guy comes up to me and starts asking me about the band. Turns out he's a bit of a music freak. He's asking if the band has written all their own songs - which they had - and he's very impressed by that - when all of a sudden, he gets a bit too excited. He forgets to take a break in between speaking and eating his corn dog and suddenly he is choking on a big piece of meat. So, I'm only nineteen, remember, I had never experienced anything like this, so at first I am kind of... well, embarrassed I guess. On his behalf. He's crying and coughing and making a fool of himself. So I just look another way and wait for him to finish the whole thing and clean himself up. And then we can pretend it never happened. But he doesn't … stop. He starts wheezing and his legs buckle and he falls to his knees, slapping his hand on this trash can right next to him. As if that's gonna help. And no one helps him, because we're right at the back, by some trees, and no one can see us, and the band - my band - is really loud. And good. And everyone is looking the other way. So when I turn back to look at this man... Well, he's blue. Like Smurf-blue. He looks like a Smurf had a baby with an Avatar and then fed it nothing but blueberries. And I realize: If I don't do something, this man is going to die. So I... do the Heimlich. Which is a bit hard, because he's on his knees crouching, so I have to bend down sort of - but I do it, I grab him and I gather all my strength and I thrust - once, twice, three times, breathe in, once more and - there it goes. Flies out of his mouth like a … corn dog rocket. (TRIUMPHANTLY) And he lives. KOZLOWSKI So you have looked into the face of death! Stared at his blue complexion, heard his ragged breath! MIA Well, that's the thing. For me, this story is about something completely different. KOZLOWSKI (COMPASSIONATE) Is it the reason you no longer eat corn dogs? MIA It turns out - (A DOOR OPENS AND MISS KENNEDY COMES OUT. WE BRIEFLY HEAR SOMEONE PLAYING THE TRUMPET VERY BADLY BEFORE IT CLOSES AGAIN. MISS KENNEDY WALKS DOWN THE HALLWAY) MIA Miss Kennedy! MISS KENNEDY Mia! What are you doing here? MIA I have to ask your advice. MISS KENNEDY Where is Jackie? MIA Parking the car…? MISS KENNEDY Poor thing. You might not see her till morning. MIA In the meantime I wanted to ask you - MISS KENNEDY Who is this? KOZLOWSKI My name is Piotr Kozlowski. MISS KENNEDY Kozlowski? I thought you were dead! KOZLOWSKI You are not the first, madam. MIA Miss Kennedy, I - MISS KENNEDY Mia, can you explain? MI Yes, that's why I'm here. MISS KENNEDY Did he fake his death? Did he run away and you apprehended him again? MIA Uh, yes, no - MISS KENNEDY Yes or no? MIA N-No - I - we - KOZLOWSKI (TAKING OVER) Agents Williams and Fox were kind enough to help me fake my death. In return for information about The Amelia Project. MISS KENNEDY Mia - is this true? MIA Yes, but - MISS KENNEDY Why didn't you inform me? MIA We were going to - MISS KENNEDY (ABOUT TO GET VERY ANGRY) Mia Fox... Did you go behind my back -! MISS I… (BEFORE MISS KENNEDY EXPLODES, KOZLOWSKI INTERRUPTS) KOZLOWSKI Madam, it was I who asked them to keep it secret. MISS KENNEDY (DANGEROUSLY CALM) …why? KOZLOWSKI I said if they told anyone, I would not disclose any information. MISS KENNEDY (CALMS DOWN) I see. So what's this information? MIA We haven't gotten it yet. MISS KENNEDY Why not? MIA Because we have to go to Scotland? MISS KENNEDY For the love of God - Why?? KOZLOWSKI I am going to tell your agents a story, and I am afraid I can only tell it if I am at the place where it happened. MISS KENNEDY You're taking them to a crime scene? MIA No - KOZLOWSKI It is not a crime scene. MIA It's a place in Scotland where - MISS KENNEDY Yes? MIA Well, it's - MISS KENNEDY What? MIA I - MISS KENNEDY Yes? MIA We - MISS KENNEDY Go on? MIA He was - MISS KENNEDY I don't understand a word you're saying! And I really need a smoke! BEAT. MIA Uh - MISS KENNEDY I've been listening to Yo-Yo Ma on trumpet butchering La Cucaracha for fifteen minutes and I can't take it anymore! KOZLOWSKI Madam, please feel free to attend to your needs. We promise to still be here when you return. MISS KENNEDY Thank you! (MISS KENNEDY WALKS OFF) MIA But Ma'am! KOZLOWSKI We should let her smoke. Without the nicotine, it seems she cannot focus. MIA But - argh...! Will you stop interrupting me when I'm speaking to Miss Kennedy! KOZLOWSKI I was just trying to help. MIA Well, you were annoying the fuck out of me! (PAUSE) KOZLOWSKI You were about to continue your story. Before Miss Kennedy arrived. MIA Oh, yeah. This man whose life I saved - Mr. Anderson - he’d been a songwriter for the CIA. KOZLOWSKI I beg your pardon? MIA He'd been a songwriter for the CIA. KOZLOWSKI The CIA employs songwriters? MIA Sure! Mr. Anderson wrote 'Wind of Change', one of our biggest successes. KOZLOWSKI 'Wind of Change', would that be the power ballad by some eighties rock band - MIA -The Scorpions. KOZLOWSKI (CON’T) - that allegedly brought down the iron curtain? MIA That's the one. KOZLOWSKI And Mr. Anderson wrote this song - for the CIA? MIA And many others. The Barney Theme Song. You could argue that's been almost as significant, in it's own way. Anyhow, the CIA has a whole department dedicated to 'Soft Power'. KOZLOWSKI 'Soft Power'? MIA Affecting change not through violence, but through appeal and attraction. KOZLOWSKI I see… MIA The CIA employs musicians, filmmakers, animators, Tik-Tok'ers... Name a branch of the arts, and we'll have someone exploiting its 'Soft Power' potential for the benefit of the United States of America. KOZLOWSKI Any art form you say? MIA Any. KOZLOWSKI That cannot be! Popular music, maybe, film, certainly. I do believe in the power of the silver screen. But any art form? MIA Try me. KOZLOWSKI Fashion. MIA We have designers working for Chanel, Versace, Lauren and Armani. If it hadn't been for the leather separates and cut-out dresses at the Paris Fashion Week in 1999, Hungary would never have joined NATO. KOZLOWSKI Modern art? MIA Pollock, Warhol, Hockney, Magritte. KOZLOWSKI Ceci n'est pas une pipe! MIA No, it's a piece of propaganda. KOZLOWSKI I know one art form the CIA cannot possibly have corrupted. MIA (SURE OF HERSELF) And that is? KOZLOWSKI (TRIUMPHANTLY) Cross-stitching. MIA (CONFIDENT) The CIA runs forty-four cross-stitching clubs across the US. Providing patriotic patterns to grandmas all over the country is a great way to keep the national morale up. You might not hang the home made birthday present from Granny above your bed, but the message will still come across. BEAT. KOZLOWSKI I will think about that the next time I suture a wound. MIA I know the Soft Power branch like the back of my hand because that is where I began my career with the CIA. Mr. Anderson wanted to repay me for saving his life, and he was impressed by my organizing skills. At the time he was head of the Soft Power Department - or the Wind of Change as we call it - and he offered me an internship as a Cross-Media Production Assistant. From there I went on to assistant manage the Soft Power Archives before I took the big step. KOZLOWSKI What is the big step? MIA Training to become a protective agent. After training I spent a few years in surveillance learning the ropes and here I am. KOZLOWSKI Ha! So your meeting with death is in fact a story about a new direction in life. MIA Yes. KOZLOWSKI I am glad! MIA From dorky teenager who assembles a band 'cause she's got no friends to... KOZLOWSKI …International secret agent. MIA (CHUCKLES) Yeah. KOZLOWSKI So you do know. MIA Know what? KOZLOWSKI That death is never about death. It is always about life. MIA Death is never about death? Seems like an exaggeration. (A DOOR OPENS IN THE DISTANCE) KOZLOWSKI And yet, I hold it up as my highest truth. (MISS KENNEDY RETURNS) MIA Miss Kennedy! Great! You're back! MISS KENNEDY I am, but make it quick. I don't want to miss the next Keynote Speech. It's on "How to Train Secret Agents for Space Missions", and before that starts I have to order my selection for the accompanying Tequila tasting! MIA Well, what I was trying to ask you earlier was - MISS KENNEDY You wanted to know if you should let this criminal take you to Scotland. MIA Yes! Miss KENNEDY Why not? MIA Because... he should be here! In a holding cell! MISS KENNEDY Why? MIA Because we just heard back from Istanbul, and all the information he gave us is, well - it’s bullshit! KOZLOWSKI It was Istan-bullshit! (MISS KENNEDY LAUGHS. KOZLOWSKI LAUGHS TOO) MISS KENNEDY Ahaha! That's good! That's good, Mister Kowalski, I- I like that. MIA This is a serious matter! What is wrong with you two?! KOZLOWSKI My name is Kozlowski. MISS KENNEDY Of course, I'm sorry. KOZLOWSKI (CON’T) Kowalski is the tallest penguin in Madagaskar - and the funniest! MISS KENNEDY You're right, he is the funniest one! (MIA MAKES A SOUND) Listen, Mia. When you get to Scotland, what is going to happen? MIA I don't know - MISS KENNEDY I can tell you. Mister Kozlowski here is either gonna tell you what you wanna to know, or he is not. MIA Right... MISS KENNEDY If you stay here and interrogate this man in a holdin’ cell, what is going to happen then? MIA Well, uhm - MISS KENNEDY He is either going to tell you what you wanna know, or he is not. MIA Right. MISS KENNEDY So that leaves you with a choice: Humoring Mister Kozlowski by taking him where he wants to go, hoping that he is in fact going to talk when he gets there. Or keepin’ him here and torturing him. MIA Torturing - who said anything about torturing...!? MISS KENNEDY How else are you going to extract information from an unwilling suspect? MIA Uhm... MISS KENNEDY Yeah, yeah, you can call it "enhanced interrogation techniques" all you want, but we're all friends here. MIA Miss Kennedy - ! MISS KENNEDY To be honest with you, we try to avoid that kind of thing when we're in the UK. Now, standards tend to loosen up a bit when we are at home or in certain other regions of the world. But when in Britain, do as the Limeys. KOZLOWSKI While we are on this subject, I should probably disclose that I don't respond very well to torture. MISS KENNEDY Most people don't, sweetheart. KOZLOWSKI No, I mean I do not respond at all. I have conducted so many experiments on my body, I do not register pain anymore. MISS KENNEDY Well, there you go. That settles it. MIA You think we should go to Scotland? MISS KENNEDY I'm curious what's up there that could be so important. KOZLOWSKI A story about friendship. MISS KENNEDY I want a full report when you get back. MIA Yes, ma'am. KOZLOWSKI Yes ma'am. MISS KENNEDY (CHUCKLES) Not you! Leave that to my agents. KOZLOWSKI Sure will do, madam. MISS KENNEDY Now, beat it! I'm about to order "Tasting Menu A: Tequila Sunrise to Sunset". And once that arrives, I don't expect to be able to give any kind of intelligible advice for a while. (MISS KENNEDY WALKS OFF AND THROUGH THE DOOR) KOZLOWSKI I like her. MIA Do you, now... BEAT. So… What's in the cocoa? You never answered my question. KOZLOWSKI Tryptophan, Phenylethylalanine and Theobromine. MIA I knew it! I knew it was drugs! KOZLOWSKI Yes. They are powerful substances. MIA What do they do? KOZLOWSKI Our clients come to us because they find themselves in unimaginable situations. Their circumstances are so particular, that the only choice left is to die and be reborn. MIA Sure. KOZLOWSKI (CON’T) To alleviate their fear and dread, we provide Tryptophan which the body uses to create serotonin, the neurotransmitter producing feelings of happiness. Phenylethylalanine adds to this effect, acting as an antidepressant when it combines with the dopamine in the brain. Then there is Theobromine which is a chemical belonging to the methylxanthine family. These are chemicals that act as stimulants of the nervous system and the heart. Theobromine contains high levels of flavanols, which improves blood vessel function, protecting against the harmful effects of psychological stress. It also lowers blood pressure, helping to prevent cardiovascular disease, thus lowering the mortality risk. In other words, the chemicals we serve our clients prepare them for what is about to happen. A stressful near death experience, the loss of everything they know, and the immense task of starting over. MIA Wait a minute. Theobromine, Phenyl- whatever it was - these are just chemicals that are naturally found in cocoa beans, aren't they? KOZLOWSKI (INNOCENTLY) Yes. MIA sighs Awww! That's it? KOZLOWSKI Our clients frequently have to undergo radical reconstructive surgery. Then they might have to learn a new language, or study for a new profession. They have to lay low for months before they can resurface. And once they start their new life, it will take them years to truly settle in. All of these demands... MIA (DISAPPOINTED) Cocoa... KOZLOWSKI Patience. We serve our cocoa as it comes from Les Deux Magots, with only one small addition: A few drops of Patience. MIA (GRUMBLES) (JACKIE ENTERS BRISKLY. WE HEAR HER BREATHING AS SHE'S COMING DOWN THE HALLWAY) MIA You're back! That took forever! JACKIE I have been thinking - MIA Did you find parking? JACKIE interrupting Just - hear me out, okay? MIA Sure. JACKIE You were saying you did the "right" thing. MIA That. Yeah. JACKIE Why did you think it was 'right'? MIA It's protocol. You confirm with a higher officer. JACKIE That's what I thought. Mia, what you've got to understand, is that there is no such thing as "right" or "wrong". MIA Of course there is! You either follow the law, or you break it JACKIE The law, the rules, the protocol... Mia, the law isn't right. I'm not saying it's wrong either! What I'm saying is you can't confuse terms like "right" and "wrong" with "legal" and "illegal". MIA Then how do you navigate... I don't know, life!? JACKIE A law isn't a God-given thing! MIA You can't say that! You work for law enforcement! JACKIE I do not! MIA Who do you work for then?! JACKIE I work for the Central Intelligence Agency! And "intelligence" is a whole other ballgame than "law"! MIA And what - you don't think the two are linked? JACKIE Okay... Listen. Something that is legal in one country, might be illegal in another. Something that was illegal ten years ago, might be legal today. Laws are arbitrary and man-made and they change. Which means, at the end of the day, there is no such thing as a law that can be trusted. You cannot have faith in the law. In fact, it makes little sense to even talk about legal or illegal! MIA What!? JACKIE All there is, is politics, Mia! And for us, what matters is whether what we do is efficient or inefficient in achieving those political goals! MIA That's how you see it?! JACKIE Yes, that's how I see it! When you are an international agent and you are in the field, what law do you follow? The local law? US law? International law? MIA I'd think - JACKIE If you are placed in a war zone, which laws are valid then? Military law? The laws that were there before the war broke out or the new laws of the insurgents? MIA That depends on which side we are on in that particular conflict. JACKIE It's never that clear cut! Whichever law you choose to follow, once you follow one law, you've broken another. You do the "right" thing according to one group, you've got another group waiting to cut your head off! And that's just internally in the CIA! MIA Which is why you do what you think is right! JACKIE (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) When your partner is lying on the ground unconscious, bleeding from multiple gunshot wounds, moments away from death - do you run after the shooter? Do you capture the criminal whom you've been chasing for over a year, that your country has spent thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to apprehend? A person, whose arrest or death would save hundreds, maybe thousands of lives? Or do you haul the body of your partner into a car and try to save her life? You both knew your lives were on the line! Sacrificing yourself for your country, that's part of the job description. KOZLOWSKI This is very specific. I think this has happened, has it not? MIA I am so sorry, I... (PAUSE) What did you do? JACKIE Me? MIA Yes! Did you catch the shooter, or did you try to save your partner's life? JACKIE I did nothing. I was bleeding to death. MIA Oh. JACKIE (CON’T) But my partner hauled me into a car and got me to a hospital. MIA And that was the right thing to do! JACKIE (CON’T) Then, three years later, when you discover the same partner snorting cocaine through a rolled up classified document together with a Saudi Arabian secret agent, do you report her? Or do you let it slide, because this person saved your life? What is the "right" thing to do in that situation, Mia Fox? (SILENCE. JACKIE BREATHES IN ANTICIPATION OF MIA'S ANSWER) MIA I... I... I don't know. JACKIE You and I, Mia - us - agents - very quickly we learn that there is no law, or rule, or protocol that is "right". Because none of those things are constant. No, what is "right" is a felt thing. It's in your gut. And either you feel that, or you don't, and if you don't, you shouldn't be here. Because when you are in the field, there is only one constant that you can rely on, and that is loyalty. You always have to know where your loyalty lies. I need to be able to trust you, Mia. Because if we can't trust each other, we can not work together. Because we are not going to survive that. (SILENCE) MIA I understand. I'm sorry. I made the wrong decision. JACKIE Yes you did. MIA Let's go to Scotland. JACKIE Are you sure? MIA Yes. JACKIE No turning back this time? No messing around? MIA I promise. JACKIE Great. Let's go. (MIA GETS UP) JACKIE Oh, fuck, dammit. MIA What? JACKIE The car. It's parked all the way by Covent Garden! MIA Where is that? JACKIE It's … an hour's walk. MIA An hour!? You parked an hour away!? JACKIE This is London! There is no parking! KOZLOWSKI It would be nice to stretch our legs. I promise I will not try to run off. MIA Yeah, right. KOZLOWSKI We have to pass the West End. We could get some last minute tickets! I have been meaning to see The Mousetrap. MIA (IGNORING HIM, TO JACKIE) So, are you getting the car and bringing it here or - JACKIE We're taking a taxi. MIA We're taking a taxi to the car? JACKIE Yes. And you're paying. Let's go. MIA Sure. Come on, Kozzie. KOZLOWSKI I am not a character on the Muppet Show... (KOZLOWSKI GETS UP, HANDCUFFS CLANKING. THEY START WALKING DOWN THE CORRIDOR. WE CAN HEAR THEIR BREATHS AS THEY MOVE) We once faked the death of a Muppet. It was one of the chickens. JACKIE So, did you see Miss Kennedy? MIA Not important. JACKIE But did you? MIA Doesn't matter. JACKIE (SATISFIED) You did, didn't you? MIA Maybe. JACKIE So what did she say? MIA Nothing. JACKIE She told you to go to Scotland, didn't she? MIA I said it's not important. JACKIE (TEASING) Kozlowski, what did Miss Kennedy say? KOZLOWSKI I feel like my loyalty is stretched very taut right now… FADE OUT. END THEME TUNE AND CREDITS. Credits and epilogue coming up, but first an announcement. On the 5th March we’ll be doing our first video livestream show of 2022, we’ll be performing episodes four to six of the Patreon bonus series The Alvina Archives, featuring the Interviewer, Alvina and Kozlowski. You can watch it, either live or on replay, by becoming a patron of the show for just $5. We’ve got some really big plans coming up, which are only possible through Patreon support, so you’ll be helping make those a reality too. For more info go to ameliapodcast.com and click on support the show. Today’s episode was written, directed and edited by Oystein Brager with story editing by Philip Thorne. It was designed by Eli Hamada Mcllveen with music by Fredrik Baden and audio engineering by Dominic Hargreaves. It featured Erin King as Mia Fox, Jordan Cobb as Jackie Williams, Hemi Yeroham as Kozlowski, Mama Bangbang as Miss Kennedy, Kiba Walker as the embassy worker, Graham Rowat as the security guard and Yo-Yo Ma on the trumpet… we wish! Production assistance by Maty Parzival and Graphic design by Anders Pedersen (incidentally you can find all of Anders amazing designs on mugs, T-shirts and more by visiting our webshop at ameliapodcast.com) This is our fiftieth episode and we would never have got this far without listener support, so thanks to all of you who have said kind things about us on social media, shared your support and spread the word, and of course an extra special thanks to everyone who supports the show on Patreon. As always, a shoutout to our super patrons, those are Angel Acevedo, Sophia Anderson, Jem Fidyk, Alban Ossant, Amélie and Alison, Stefanie Weittenhiller, Mints and such, Rafael Eduardo Wefers Verastegui and JK Robbins. And now the epilogue. EPILOGUE OUTSIDE THE EMBASSY. JACKIE IS ON HOLD ON THE PHONE. SHE BREATHES IMPATIENTLY. A TAXI PASSES. MIA Oh there's one! Hello! Hi! JACKIE It was taken. The light was off. (ANOTHER TAXI PASSES) MIA Hi! Hey! Hello! JACKIE Also taken. If you just wait a second, I'll order one. I'm already on the phone - MIA And how is that going? JACKIE They haven't picked up yet, but - MIA And how long have you been waiting? JACKIE For as long as we've been standing here, but - (YET ONE MORE DRIVES PAST) MIA Hello! Stop! Stop! He turned it off! He turned the light off when he saw me! Rude! KOZLOWSKI In den Pfützen schwimmt Benzin Schillernd wie ein Regenbogen Wolken spiegeln sich darin Ich wär' gern mitgeflogen Über den Wolken Muss die Freiheit wohl grenzenlos sein Über den Wolken… (CHICKLES) MIA What? JACKIE What? KOZLOWSKI Uber. You could call an Uber. (JACKIE MAKES NONCOMMITTAL SOUNDS) MIA Oh - yeah! Jackie, why don't you order - JACKIE Eh - nah, I don't think so. MIA Why not? JACKIE I - eh... don't have the best rating. MIA How bad? (PAUSE) JACKIE My rating is the Uber app's equivalent of a restraining order. MIA You must have snapped really bad! JACKIE That's not what happened. MIA Then what did happen then? JACKIE That is personal and I won't discuss it. And in my defense I thought he was flirting back! MIA (LAUGHING) You made a pass at your Uber driver!? JACKIE It is not sexual harassment if - Oh! (ON THE PHONE) Oh, hi! Yes, we need a taxi to pick us up. We're outside the US embassy. Now, yeah. No, I haven't pre-booked. Yes, I know it's Saturday afternoon. (A CAB PASSES) MIA Hi! Hellooo! Awhhh... JACKIE (STILL ON THE PHONE) You haven't got any cars? Not a single car available? Not until Monday. Right. Thanks anyway. (JACKIE HANGS UP. SIGHS. ANOTHER TAXI PASSES) MIA Hello! STOP! His light was on, I swear! (PAUSE) JACKIE Yeah. So... BEAT. KOZLOWSKI It is a beautiful afternoon. Does anyone fancy a stroll? END OF EPISODE.