EPISODE 38 - ALEXANDRA
WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE.
PHILIP
Hello dear Amelia listeners, we’re back with a brand new episode which is dedicated to our super patron Chloe Leferman. Chloe wrote us a super kind message saying she’s just started her first job and wants to celebrate by supporting us, so thank you so much Chloe, we are deeply honoured and wish you all the best in your first job. Also we’d like to mention our patron Stepan Chernyshev who has a little cameo as a prison guard in this episode, you’ll be hearing that in just a few moments. In today’s episode we catch up with the Interviewer at Golovin prison. When we last left him, Oleg had just promised to give him a tour of Block D and its maverick inmates. So - let’s see how that’s going. Enjoy the episode.
PROLOGUE
(OLEG AND THE INTERVIEWER WALKING DOWN A CORRIDOR IN GOLOVIN PRISON, THERE IS A FAINT RESOUND TO THEIR WORDS)
OLEG
Where shall we go next?
INTERVIEWER
Can I meet Abd al-Rahman Safar?
OLEG
I told you, he's in a trance, we can't disturb him.
INTERVIEWER
What about Hiroshi, the engineer?
OLEG
He's trying to fix the robotic ballerina for tonight's premiere at the Bolshoi. We should let him work. Isn't there anyone else you want to see?
INTERVIEWER
How many inmates are there in Block D?
OLEG
(WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT, FAST) Three nuclear physicists, two astronomers, a clairvoyant, a chaos theorist, a sculptor, a post-structuralist hacker, four molecular biologists, three epistemologists, a basket weaver, two string theorists, a robotics engineer, two biochemists, a risk analyst, an architect, a radical phenomenologist, a telepath, a punk rocker, an entomologist, a theologian and a game theorist.
INTERVIEWER
Wow. And you have the keys to all of their cells?
OLEG
I have the key to every door in Golovin.
INTERVIEWER
If that's the case, why am I helping you escape?
OLEG
(LAUGHS) The main door doesn't have a key. It has a code.
INTERVIEWER
Who guards the door?
OLEG
Dimitri.
INTERVIEWER
Can he be bribed?
OLEG
(AMUSED) Dimitri is partial to cherry vodka. But who would want to risk being thrown into the Golovin basement?
INTERVIEWER
Hm, yes, well. Leave it to me. Can I speak to this Dimitri?
OLEG
No way. I can't take you beyond Block D. Too many guards.
INTERVIEWER
But you can take me anywhere within this block?
OLEG
As long as we're careful.
(FAINT FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Shit!
INTERVIEWER
What?
OLEG
Hear that?
INTERVIEWER
A guard?
OLEG
Yes! In you go!
INTERVIEWER
Where?
(OLEG STARTS UNLOCKING A DOOR)
OLEG
In here! Quick!
INTERVIEWER
Whose cell is this?
OLEG
Alexandra Demopoulos. You'll find her very interesting.
INTERVIEWER
Who is Alexandra Demop-
OLEG
(URGENT) No time! Go in!
INTERVIEWER
Alright alright!
OLEG
I'll be waiting out here for you!
INTERVIEWER
But-
OLEG
IN!
(OLEG OPENS THE CELL DOOR, CLANKING OF KEYS, HE PUSHES THE INTERVIEWER INSIDE. THE MINUTE HE CLOSES THE DOOR A GUARD APPROACHES)
GUARD
(IN RUSSIAN) Evening Oleg! Everything in order?
OLEG
(IN RUSSIAN) Yes.
(THE AMELIA THEME STARTS)
INTRO
The Amelia Project. Created by Philip Thorne and Øystein Brager, with music by Fredrik Baden. Episode 38 - Alexandra.
THE INTERVIEW
(INSIDE ALEXANDRA'S CELL. ROAR OF A BUNSEN BURNER. LIQUID DRIPPING THROUGH A FUNNEL. A CONSTANT BUBBLING IN THE BACKGROUND)
INTERVIEWER
Hello Alexandra!
ALEXANDRA
(STARTLED) Ha. Hello.
INTERVIEWER
It's a pleasure to meet you! How are you?
ALEXANDRA
I’m worried. All the time. It never ends.
INTERVIEWER
(SURPRISED, TAKEN ABACK) Oh?
ALEXANDRA
That’s not to say I don’t feel any joy. I do. But the undercurrent of worry is always there. How are you?
INTERVIEWER
Fine.
ALEXANDRA
Wrong!
INTERVIEWER
What?
ALEXANDRA
You look like shit.
INTERVIEWER
(OFFENDED) Excuse me?!
ALEXANDRA
You have rings under your eyes and it looks like you've lost your comb.
INTERVIEWER
(WINCES, HIGH-PITCHED) Why... why would you say that?
ALEXANDRA
It's the truth. Why are you here?
INTERVIEWER
I'm the new psychiatrist. Golovin has asked me to visit every inmate in Block D and-
ALEXANDRA
Wrong!
INTERVIEWER
(CONFUSED) What?
ALEXANDRA
That was a lie.
INTERVIEWER
(SLOWLY) Okay, you're right. I'm not a psychiatrist. I've been sent by Boris to-
ALEXANDRA
(EMPHATIC) Wrong!
INTERVIEWER
What the-
ALEXANDRA
(IMPATIENT) Tell me the truth or get out of here.
INTERVIEWER
I... Look- I... I'm a fellow prisoner.
ALEXANDRA
Correct.
INTERVIEWER
Phew.
ALEXANDRA
You're scared of me aren't you?
INTERVIEWER
(OBVIOUSLY LYING) Don't be silly! Of course I'm not-
ALEXANDRA
Wrong.
INTERVIEWER
I... I… Uhm…
ALEXANDRA
Don't fret. Most people can't go five minutes without lying.
INTERVIEWER
I-
ALEXANDRA
White lies mostly. And superficial niceties- by the way, would you mind moving back a bit, your aftershave is very strong and it's giving me a headache.
INTERVIEWER
This- this is- (SIGHS) certainly.
(THE INTERVIEWER STEPS BACK)
ALEXANDRA
So, why are you really here?
INTERVIEWER
To discover your skill.
ALEXANDRA
(UNSURE) Hm. (DEEP BREATH) Tell me anything about yourself and I'll tell you if it's true of false. Shoot!
INTERVIEWER
Oh, okay, fun! Um... Oh! I love Maltesers.
ALEXANDRA
Correct.
INTERVIEWER
Hm. I hate penguins.
ALEXANDRA
(SLIGHTLY SURPRISED)...correct.
INTERVIEWER
(UNDER HIS BREATH) Yes, nasty little buggers… (BACK TO ALEXANDRA) Uh, uhm, I have a pet monkey!
ALEXANDRA
Wrong.
INTERVIEWER
My middle name is Arthur.
ALEXANDRA
Correct.
INTERVIEWER
My first name is Cornelius.
(PAUSE)
ALEXANDRA
Wrong.
INTERVIEWER
I won the world singles tiddlywinks tournament of nineteen sixty six.
ALEXANDRA
Eh! Wrong.
INTERVIEWER
But I was so close goddamnit! If only I'd potted that last wink! Argh! (PULLS HIMSELF BACK TOGETHER) Oh, I speak fluent Farsi.
ALEXANDRA
Correct.
INTERVIEWER
I used to be head curator at the Museum of Cairo.
ALEXANDRA
Correct.
INTERVIEWER
I was a fire-eater at Cirque Zavatta Fils.
ALEXANDRA
(SURPRISED) Correct!
INTERVIEWER
I play the harpsichord.
ALEXANDRA
Wrong.
(SHORT PAUSE)
How am I doing?
INTERVIEWER
(AMAZED) You got it right every single time.
ALEXANDRA
(SIGHS) Correct.
INTERVIEWER
Am I really that transparent? Does my nose grow like Pinocchio when I lie?
ALEXANDRA
No.
INTERVIEWER
Well that's a relief-
ALEXANDRA (CON’T)
It shrinks.
INTERVIEWER
What?
ALEXANDRA
When you lie, warm blood flows towards your brain and makes your nose shrink.
INTERVIEWER
(DISBELIEVING) You can... (POSITIVELY BAFFLED) you can see that?
ALEXANDRA
Yes.
INTERVIEWER
But how?!
ALEXANDRA
The question is how come you don't see it? It's always been very obvious to me. As a kid I didn't realise I had heightened perception. I thought it was just natural.
INTERVIEWER
You've had this skill since you were a child? (SCOFFS) That must have made your parents' life hell!
ALEXANDRA (IMITATING A CHILD’S VOICE)
"Baba, Baba! Is Santa Claus real?" "Why were you making funny noises in your bedroom last night?" "Manula, who is your favorite child?" (SCOFFS SADLY) They couldn't hide the truth from me!
INTERVIEWER
Your poor parents.
ALEXANDRA
It wasn't much fun for me either.
INTERVIEWER
How so?
ALEXANDRA
I didn't understand why everyone was constantly saying things they knew to be untrue. It was so confusing and frustrating.
INTERVIEWER
But you learned to live with it?
ALEXANDRA
I learned that nobody wants to spend time with someone who can see through lies.
INTERVIEWER
I can see how your ability makes social interaction... (TAKES A BREATH) well, somewhat difficult...
ALEXANDRA
Difficult? Ha! I'm a social pariah!
INTERVIEWER
Now now, I'm sure it’s not-
ALEXANDRA
So I decided to become a chemist!
INTERVIEWER
...sorry?
ALEXANDRA
My goal: to create... a truth serum!
INTERVIEWER
A truth serum? You don't need a truth serum! You can already tell if someone is lying. Why would you-
ALEXANDRA
To eradicate lies for good! Imagine a world in which everyone tells the truth all the time! In a world like that my skill, (SCOFFS) or rather my curse, wouldn't count for anything. If everyone only told the truth, they wouldn't be scared of being found out by me. That would mean I could lead a normal life and wouldn't be considered a freak!
INTERVIEWER
Well peel me like an onion!
ALEXANDRA
The field of lie detection is filled with placebos and pseudo science. I wanted to create the first simple and scientifically sound method of abolishing lies.
INTERVIEWER
How did it go?
ALEXANDRA
I made breakthrough after breakthrough.
INTERVIEWER
Wow.
ALEXANDRA
In the summer of two thousand and nineteen I gave a lecture at the University of Thessaloniki in which I revealed that we were on the way to developing the world's first fully effective truth drug. (SIGHS) That's when the research grants dried up.
INTERVIEWER
After you announced your breakthroughs? Why?
ALEXANDRA
My funding came from the government. Turns out politicians aren't too keen on a drug that eradicates lies.
INTERVIEWER
(QUITELY) Of course. So what did you do?
ALEXANDRA
I tried to find corporate backing. But CEO's are just as squeamish about transparency.
INTERVIEWER
Hm.
ALEXANDRA (CON’T)
There was, however, one organisation willing to fund my research.
INTERVIEWER
Oh? Who?
ALEXANDRA
(FLATLY) The CIA.
INTERVIEWER
Ha! Of course!
ALEXANDRA
They arranged for me to come to Langley.
INTERVIEWER
A new beginning in the US of A!
ALEXANDRA
(SIGHS) That's not how it turned out.
INTERVIEWER
No?
ALEXANDRA
No.
INTERVIEWER
What happened?
ALEXANDRA
I never reached the US. My taxi driver didn't take me to the airport, he drove me to a small airfield just outside Athens. Private jet was waiting. The driver told me that a wealthy Russian businessman was interested in my work and wanted to meet me.
INTERVIEWER
What did you do?
ALEXANDRA (SHRUGGING)
The driver had a gun, I got into the jet.
INTERVIEWER
I see.
ALEXANDRA
(AS IF SHE CAN’T BELIEVE IT HERSELF) A few hours later I was in the Kremlin drinking vodkas with Mikhail.
INTERVIEWER
(SURPRISED) Mikhail welcomed you personally?
ALEXANDRA
Yes!
INTERVIEWER
I'm almost jealous! I only got the Boris treatment.
ALEXANDRA
Count yourself lucky. Mikhail reeks of Limburger cheese. Your aftershave is delightful in comparison.
INTERVIEWER
(GRUNTS)
ALEXANDRA
Mikhail was very excited about the serum. It would let him instantly extract information it would otherwise take weeks of torture to obtain. Mikhail is all about efficiency.
INTERVIEWER
So he set you up with this lab in Golovin...
ALEXANDRA
Yes. It's great isn't it? Much better than what I had back at the University of Thessaloniki.
INTERVIEWER
Yes, but you can't leave.
ALEXANDRA
I already told you, I find people and their constant lies stressful. I prefer the reliability of facts and formulas. Why would I ever want to leave my lab?
INTERVIEWER
And does it work yet?
ALEXANDRA
What?
INTERVIEWER
The serum. Is it effective?
(PAUSE)
ALEXANDRA
What do you think?
INTERVIEWER
Sorry?
ALEXANDRA
I don't usually tell strangers my life story.
INTERVIEWER
(UNDERSTANDING) Yeah, well- (CATCHING ON) What? You mean... you're... under the influence of the serum now?
ALEXANDRA
I took five millilitres ten minutes ago.
INTERVIEWER
But… why?
ALEXANDRA
Self-testing.
INTERVIEWER
Are you kidding me? Oh. You're... you're not? Right! How on earth can you self test? How does that even work?
ALEXANDRA
See that questionnaire?
INTERVIEWER
Uhm, yes.
ALEXANDRA
I drafted twenty questions for myself … that I really don't want to answer.
(THE INTERVIEWER PICKS UP SOME PAPERS AND RIFFLES THROUGH THEM)
INTERVIEWER
Who is Elena?
(A PAUSE, THEN ALEXANDRA RELEASES A BREATH)
INTERVIEWER
Well?
ALEXANDRA
She’s- was my girlfriend.
(THE INTERVIEWER TURNS THE PAGES)
INTERVIEWER
Hm. Tell me about Elena.
ALEXANDRA
(THIS IS PAINFUL, BUT SHE ANSWERS ANYWAY) We were together for more than a year. The happiest year of my life. Elena was the first person who wasn't scared of me. She actually liked that I could see through her. It excited her. It turned her on.
"It's like I'm always naked with you", she said. I could be myself and she didn't care. She encouraged it! "True love can withstand honesty," she said, and I believed her.
(THE INTERVIEWER VERY QUIETLY BUT FONDLY CHUCKLES IN THE BACKGROUND)
Do you want to hear the sweetest thing she did for me?
INTERVIEWER
I'd love to.
ALEXANDRA
She texted me on my birthday to say she had to work late. Her architecture firm was designing a concert hall in Patras, a really big project, so she often had to work into the early hours of the morning. But this was my birthday! I was so disappointed.
INTERVIEWER
Uhm, sorry, I thought you said the sweetest thing...
ALEXANDRA
(DELIGHTED) It was a lie!
INTERVIEWER
(SURPRISED) Oh!
ALEXANDRA
(FONDLY) But because she sent it by text, I didn't know! I'm just defrosting a quiche when I hear some lunatic hooting outside. I open the kitchen window, and there's Elena in the car, waving at me to join her!
(THE INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)
I was stunned! It was the first time anybody had ever surprised me!
INTERVIEWER
She’s good!
ALEXANDRA
We drove to the Peloponnese coast. She'd booked a small apartment by the sea and we spent the weekend drinking white wine and baking cinnamon baklava.
INTERVIEWER
(FONDLY) Sounds magical.
ALEXANDRA
It was.
(SAD BUT STILL FOND) It was also the beginning of the end.
(PAUSE)
INTERVIEWER
Oh? How so?
ALEXANDRA
On the drive back to Athens I told her how much I'd appreciated what she'd done. "Sometimes lies can be nice" Elena said.
INTERVIEWER
Ah…
ALEXANDRA
I couldn't get that out of my head. I thought about it all week and eventually asked her: "Elena, do you miss being able to lie?"
(SHORT PAUSE)
INTERVIEWER
What did she reply?
ALEXANDRA
"No."
INTERVIEWER
(SOFTLY) No…
(NOT PRONOUNCED AS A QUESTION, HE ALREADY KNOWS THE ANSWER) She was lying?
ALEXANDRA
(QUIETLY) Yes.
(PAUSE)
(GETTING UPSET) She didn't want to talk about it. Said it wasn't a big deal. But I wouldn't let go. "You said you liked it, you said you liked being naked in front of me" I said. She said there were moments when she wanted to hide. There were moments she wished she could just pretend to like my earrings or the dinner I'd cooked and not have a big discussion about it. She said this was one of those moments.
INTERVIEWER
Hm…
ALEXANDRA
She wanted to go to bed. She had to get up early the next morning to go to Patras. I should have just let her sleep and give things time to settle. But I didn't. I asked question after question after question. We argued through the night and into the morning. At five am she had to leave for Patras. She got into the car and told me she wouldn't be back.
(SHORT PAUSE)
This was the last time I saw her.
INTERVIEWER
So. Let me get this straight. You're using yourself as a test subject, asking yourself painful questions about Elena, then assessing your honesty to gauge whether the truth serum is working?
ALEXANDRA
Yes.
INTERVIEWER
(SCOFFS) Doesn't seem like a very reliable method.
ALEXANDRA
It's the best I can do.
INTERVIEWER
Really? Come on! I'm sure Boris would be more than happy to provide you with a guinea pig.
ALEXANDRA
I was worried that's what you were at first.
INTERVIEWER
(OFFENDED) A guinea pig?
ALEXANDRA
Yes.
INTERVIEWER
(CATCHING ON) Wait, you were worried? Why?
ALEXANDRA
They mustn't know about my success.
(PAUSE)
INTERVIEWER
Oh… Go on…
ALEXANDRA
I've told Mikhail it will take at least another year until the serum is effective.
INTERVIEWER
...you don't want him to have it?
ALEXANDRA
Oh, he'll get it eventually. But...
INTERVIEWER
Yes?
ALEXANDRA
When I first met Mikhail, I asked him what would happen after I'd completed my work here.
INTERVIEWER
What did he say?
ALEXANDRA
He said I'd be free to go back to Greece.
INTERVIEWER
And you don't want to go back to- Oh. His nose retracted?
ALEXANDRA
Yup. Once I've served my purpose, he will dispose of me. I know it.
INTERVIEWER
Does he know about your ability to see through lies?
ALEXANDRA
Do you think he'd have spent time with me if he did? No. He just thinks I'm a talented chemist.
INTERVIEWER
Well. Maybe you can use your ability to your advantage. Use it as leverage against him.
ALEXANDRA
(A RUEFUL LAUGH) If Mikhail finds out about my ability, he'll kill me there and then. He won't even wait until I've finished the serum.
INTERVIEWER
So what - you're just in here, biding your time...
ALEXANDRA
I'm not being idle! I'm making the serum!
INTERVIEWER
Why? Why don't you just pretend to work and do crosswords instead?
ALEXANDRA
You know Oleg?
INTERVIEWER
We’re acquainted…
ALEXANDRA
He surveys me every morning. Anyway, I want to succeed. It's my life's work. It's just... I'm not ready to die... not yet. It would be a pity to die so soon with a lab like this, you know? I haven't really made the most of it. So... I was thinking... I keep my success with the serum quiet for another year or so, and use the time to play around with some other experiments. There's so much I'd still love to explore!
INTERVIEWER
You're taking a huge risk self testing like this though. Mikhail could come in any minute and the game would be up.
ALEXANDRA
Have you ever seen Mikhail set foot in Golovin?
INTERVIEWER
(GRUMPILY) I told you, I've never met Mikhail.
ALEXANDRA
My evenings here have always been undisturbed. Well, until today that is.
INTERVIEWER
I am sorry.
ALEXANDRA
Not at all! I'm grateful to you.
INTERVIEWER
Oh? Why?
ALEXANDRA
As you say, self testing is very unreliable. I could never be sure whether I was answering my questions because I really had to, or whether I was doing it because I subconsciously wanted the serum to work. But spilling my heart out to a complete stranger, especially one who looks like a total hobo,
INTERVIEWER
(OFFENDED) Oy!
ALEXANDRA (CON’T)
Is obviously proof that this is working.
INTERVIEWER
(SARDONICALLY) Happy to help.
(SHORT PAUSE)
You know what Alexandra? You can do something for me in return.
ALEXANDRA
What's that?
INTERVIEWER
I'd like a bottle of truth serum please.
ALEXANDRA
(LAUGHS)
INTERVIEWER
Well?
ALEXANDRA
Out of the question.
INTERVIEWER
Why?
ALEXANDRA
This isn't some party game.
INTERVIEWER
I know that!
ALEXANDRA
It's a powerful drug and needs to be handled responsibly.
INTERVIEWER
Oh, I am Mister Responsible!
ALEXANDRA
Even if that was true, which it's not-
INTERVIEWER
Hey, I was covering my nose with my hand!
ALEXANDRA
Which means you're covering up a lie!
INTERVIEWER
Damn, there's no winning with you!
ALEXANDRA
Even if it was true, nobody is allowed to know the serum exists! I'm not compromising my safety by giving it to you!
INTERVIEWER
(SIGHS) I'm sorry Alexandra, but you have no choice. You have to give it to me.
ALEXANDRA
What's that supposed to mean?
INTERVIEWER
There's someone waiting behind the door.
ALEXANDRA
(SOFTLY) What? Who?
INTERVIEWER
Oleg. I'd tell you I'm serious, but you already know that right?
ALEXANDRA
(GRIMLY) Yes. (SCARED) What's Oleg doing here? He only comes in the morning.
(THE INTERVIEWER’S TONE OF VOICE CHANGES, HE IS DEAD SERIOUS AND ON THE EDGE OF THREATENING NOW)
INTERVIEWER
How long until the serum wears off?
ALEXANDRA
(THROUGH GRITTED TEETH)Twenty minutes.
INTERVIEWER
Hm. How about I invite Oleg in here and get you to tell him everything you've just told me?
ALEXANDRA
You wouldn't!
INTERVIEWER
If you don't give me the serum, I’m afraid I will.
ALEXANDRA
(CURSING IN GREEK) You're telling the truth.
INTERVIEWER
So. How about it?
(PAUSE. THEN ALEXANDRA SIGHS, GETS UP, UNSCREWS A BOTTLE AND TRANSFERS SOME LIQUID FROM A TEST TUBE INTO IT.)
ALEXANDRA
As long as you keep this sealed it won't expire. Five millilitres of serum will give you half an hour of truth, effective instantaneously. Please use with caution.
(SHE RE-SCREWS THE BOTTLE)
INTERVIEWER
Thank you. You've made a good choice.
ALEXANDRA
You forced me.
INTERVIEWER
Well.. you’ve just saved yourself.
ALEXANDRA
I get to live another year...
INTERVIEWER
Oh no. More than that.
ALEXANDRA
I won't be able to string Mikhail along forever.
INTERVIEWER
(CHUCKLES) Do you know who I am?
ALEXANDRA
No.
INTERVIEWER
No, of course you don’t. That was rhetorical. I am a death faker.
ALEXANDRA
(SLOWLY) Go on.
INTERVIEWER
Oh, sorry, that's normally when people express their disbelief, I forgot that you-
ALEXANDRA
I believe you.
INTERVIEWER
Good. Then you'll also believe the next thing I say: in a year's time I will come back to Golovin and fake your death.
ALEXANDRA
Back to Golovin? You're already here.
INTERVIEWER
Oh. I don't intend to stay here much longer.
ALEXANDRA
How will you fake my death?
INTERVIEWER
I don't know yet. First I need to find my surgeon and my team. It's a long story.
(HIS TONE TURNS FROM SERIOUS TO HIS TYPICAL CHEERFUL ONE AGAIN)
But in a years' time we will have a custom-made fake death ready for you.
ALEXANDRA
You're a very strange man.
INTERVIEWER
And you're a very strange woman. Goodbye Alexandra.
ALEXANDRA
Goodbye... Hey! What's your name?
(HE WALKS TOWARDS THE DOOR)
INTERVIEWER
(HESITANT) Thaddeus.
ALEXANDRA
Ugh!λάθος
INTERVIEWER (CHUCKLES)
ξέρω (CHUCKLES AGAIN)
(THE INTERVIEWER OPENS THE DOOR AND STEPS BACK OUT INTO THE CORRIDOR WHERE OLEG IS WAITING)
INTERVIEWER
All clear?
OLEG
All clear.
(PAUSE)
So. How did you get on with Alexandra?
INTERVIEWER
Oh, splendidly. And I've got something for you.
OLEG
Oh?
INTERVIEWER
Here. Sniff it.
(THE INTERVIEWER UNSCREWS THE BOTTLE)
OLEG
(SNIFFING) Smells of glue. What is it?
(SCREWS IT SHUT AGAIN)
INTERVIEWER
This is your escape route.
OLEG
What?
INTERVIEWER
This is a bottle of truth serum.
OLEG
But... Alexandra still needs at least twelve months of-
INTERVIEWER
(IMPATIENT) Trust me. It works.
OLEG
Okay... What do I do?
INTERVIEWER
The gatekeeper is fond of cherry vodka you said?
OLEG
Yes.
INTERVIEWER
Well, look at that! It's almost six pm. Time for a little tipple don't you think?
OLEG
I'll put some serum into Dimitri's vodka...
INTERVIEWER
And ask for the code to the main gate!
OLEG
Perfect! I... I can't thank you enough!
INTERVIEWER
Let's go.
(THE INTERVIEWER STARTS WALKING)
OLEG
Hang on... Where are you going? Your cell is back there.
INTERVIEWER
Oh, I'm coming with you.
OLEG
What?
INTERVIEWER
Well. As cosy as Golovin is, it would be nice to get some sunlight and eat something other than canteen stroganoff for a change.
OLEG
No way. You can't come with me.
INTERVIEWER
Why not?
OLEG
Do you know how many security perimeters you have to pass to get to the main gate?
INTERVIEWER
Yes, but that's not stopping you from-
OLEG
I bring messages to Boris, check up on inmates in the basement and the hospital wing! I can move around Golovin freely! I'm an employee, you're a prisoner!
INTERVIEWER
(SIGHS)
OLEG
Look. I'm taking enough of a risk letting you roam around here! How could I justify taking you out of Block D?
INTERVIEWER
It's a risk, but-
OLEG
It will ruin the plan!
INTERVIEWER
Well, without me, there is no plan.
OLEG
This was supposed to be about my escape, not yours! I've waited for years to get out of here, I'm not going to jeopardize that!
INTERVIEWER
Do you want me to give this bottle back to Alexandra?
OLEG
Hey! It's in your interest I get out of here! I promised to find your friends, remember?
(PAUSE)
INTERVIEWER (DEEP SIGH, THEN, SOBERLY)
(QUIETLY) Yes. You're right. But before I give you this bottle, there's one more thing I need you to do for me.
OLEG
(WARILY) What's that?
INTERVIEWER
I'd like to meet Hiroshi, the robotics engineer.
OLEG
(SURPRISED) Oh!
INTERVIEWER
I know he's busy, but I'd really like to see him.
OLEG
I... certainly. That's not a problem.
INTERVIEWER
Good.
OLEG
Tell you what. I'll just give you the key to his cell.
(OLEG REMOVES A KEY FROM HIS KEY-CHAIN)
Here. Fourth door on the right.
INTERVIEWER
Thanks. Here's the bottle.
OLEG
Thank you. Well...
INTERVIEWER
Well...
OLEG
This is where we part ways.
INTERVIEWER
Yes. Enjoy the vodka.
OLEG
I will.
(OLEG STARTS WALKING AWAY, THEN TURNS BACK)
I will find your friends. I promise.
(OLEG'S FOOTSTEPS TRAIL OFF INTO THE DISTANCE RIGHT AS THE THEME TUNE SETS IN)
CREDITS
This episode was written and edited by Philip Thorne with story editing by Øystein Brager. It was engineered and designed by Dominic Hargreaves with music by Fredrik Baden, graphic design by Anders Pedersen and production assistance by Maty Parzival. It featured Alan Burgon as the Interviewer, Antigoni Spanou as Alexandra, Alexander Mercury as Oleg and a Patron cameo by Stepan Chernyshev who played the prison guard. This show will always be free to listen to, as we want it to be accessible to everyone, but if you are able to chip in with a small contribution, that would of course make us very happy and really help us to cover our costs. More info on how to support the show, as well as transcripts, artwork, merch and more, over at ameliapodcast.com. A special shoutout to our super patrons Sophia Anderson, Kate Sukeyasu, Sophie Levezow, Jem Fidyk, Alban Ossant, Travis Kirton, Rushabh Shukla, Amelie Harris, Stefanie Weittenhiller, Chloe Leferman to whom this episode is dedicated, Elizabeth Curry, Mints and such and Viktor Hesselbom. And now we’ll leave you with a little blooper from the recording of this episode.
EPILOGUE.
ALAN
Am I really that transparent? Does my nose glow like Pinocchio when I lie?
ANTIGONI
No.
ALAN
Grow, sorry, not glow, not glow, sorry-
(ANTIGONI STARTS LAUGHING)
I did say it, ten o’clock, not my time, my brain might be starting to shut down.
(MORE LAUGHTER)
Okay, sorry. (CLEARS THROAT)