Pip Hello, it's Pip and today we'd like to introduce you to another one of our favourite audio dramas, in fact today's recommendation has been one of my top discoveries this year, but first, let's check in with what's going on at the Amelia offices... ALVINA Good afternoon. INTERVIEWER Ahoy, bucko! ALVINA What? Nevermind, I need some input on the Stockholm disappearance. INTERVIEWER Ay! ALVINA Uh - ? It's Mrs. Adelborg. She has suddenly decided the Volvo isn't good enough for her, and wants a BMW instead. When I told her she couldn't have a BMW, since Salvatore has already rebuilt the v60, she threatened to expose us! INTERVIEWER Blow me down! The scallywag is trying to hornswaggle us? Hold on to yer doubloons! ALVINA What? INTERVIEWER By thunder, there's only one thing to do! We give her the Black Spot! Ay, that'll make that scurvy dog follow the cart, I reckon! ALVINA Eh... You suggest what? INTERVIEWER We leave her Black Spotted! I have said my piece, now heave ho! ALVINA Black Spotted...? What does that mean? INTERVIEWER Ooh! Before ye go, pour me some grog, lass, and do it smartly! I'm planning to get loaded to the gunwales today! ALVINA Loaded to the...? Huh? INTERVIEWER C'mere me beauty... Listen, I won't suffer any landlubbers or bilge rats this mornin'... Today is a national holiday! ALVINA (SCEPTICAL) I don't think it is a national holiday, and you better start speaking normally, because you have a client at one'o clock! INTERVIEWER Send that son of a biscuit eater down the gangway! Lest the lad speaks like a pirate, he might as well scuttle! ALVINA Why are you talking like that!? INTERVIEWER It is international speak like a pirate day, matey! ALVINA Oh lord... You know, it is also a regular work day and you're about to see a PhD student in practical metaphysics! I think her disappearance will be a tad difficult to discuss speaking like a pirate! INTERVIEWER Ye think I'll be bum-squabbled? Oh, ye of little faith! Even if I am gabbing like the mighty Anne Bonny - and maybe shaking the cloth in the wind just a little - I'd never struggle to keep a weather eye open! ALVINA (FRUSTRATED) Just stop it! I don't understand a word you're saying, and neither will the client! INTERVIEWER Blimey, wench! Has no one told ye? On this ship we always observe talk like a pirate day! ALVINA …we do!? INTERVIEWER Aye! (SERIOUS) It's in memory of past buccaneers whom we've seen walk the plank or dance the gallow's dance. So, ye better get on board matey... or ye might find yerself marooned! ALVINA OK, I can't take any more of this! You cannot speak like a pirate when you're meeting a client, it's not professional! INTERVIEWER (LAUGHS) Do ye fancy some salamagundi? All we have aboard is hardtack and loblolly, but down at the Rising Phoenix, I know they've got fine grub for not many cob dollars! ALVINA That's it! I'm going upstairs! If anyone can put a stop to this nonsense, it's her! INTERVIEWER Ye're about to tell it to the parrot, are ye? (IRONIC) Ye give me the collywobble's, ye do! ALVINA I'm going! INTERVIEWER (SARCASTIC) Shiver me timbers! I must clear the deck! (ALVINA HEADS FOR THE DOOR, RIGHT AT THE MOMENT WHEN AMELIA ENTERS) ALVINA Ah, Amelia! I was just about to come see you. Our friend here thinks it's appropriate to - AMELIA (INTERRUPTS) Ahoy, me hearties! I feel like I've been kissing the gunner's daughter all morning... We need to splice the mainbrace, me thinks! Who's down for some cackle fruit and bunny grub before the Dog Watch? ALVINA NOT - YOU - TOO!!! INTERVIEWER (LAUGHS IN PIRATE) HOST Speak like a Pirate Day is actually a real thing, it's on the 19th September every year, and here's a fun fact, the co-founder of International Speak Like a Pirate Day, a guy called Mark Summers was basically Julia Morizawa's "theatre dad" when she was in high school as he directed the teen theatre program in the neighboring town's community theatre. Anyway, Alvina might not appreciate the celebration of international speak like a pirate day at the Amelia offices. But, if you like true tales and wild stories about real life pirates - you should check out The Ballad of Anne and Mary! Our friends over at Long Cat Media have made an audio drama musical about the two female pirates. It's 1721, and London is abuzz with news of the notorious pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read, currently languishing in Newgate Prison. It’s the perfect time for debt-ridden journalist Nathaniel Mist to exploit the public appetite and write a sensational (and hopefully best-selling) history of pirates. But as the balladeers and gossip mongers on the streets of London build myths around the blood-thirsty and perverse lady pirates, Mist is forced to reckon with the real Bonny & Read. The Ballad of Anne & Mary is an audio-adventure in five parts, starring musical sensation Christina Bianco, actress and comedian Sooz Kempner, Hamilton star Karl Queensborough, cabaret legend Le Gateau Chocolat, and more. I've listened to "The Ballad of Anne and Mary", and I got completely enraptured by the portrayal of these two infamous pirates. The music is stunning, the sound design is fabulous - close your eyes and you'll be taken into prisons, aboard pirate ships and out to sea. We're going to play you the first episode of the series right here, right now, and if you like it, you can continue listening wherever you get your podcasts. So crack open a bottle of grog, stay the course and enjoy!

Transcript for Anne and Mary here! Please note: This Transcript is very differently built due to the structure of the episode. We decided to link it here instead of re-formatting it.