A VOICEMAIL MESSAGE - FAINT MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND

LORRAINE

(IMITATING AMELIA'S VOICE) Congratulations, you’ve reached... Lorraine Fletcher.

If you're not serious about this, hang up.

Now.

(NORMAL VOICE) Uncle? How was that? Mysterious enough for you?

Where are you calling from today I wonder? A cabin in the catskills? A secret lair in Sri Lanka? Oh? Westminster Palace?

No, seriously, thanks for taking the time for calling and sorry I'm out.

I'm sure you have a waiting room full of oil sheikhs, rogue spies and lion tamers to interview, so I won't ramble on.

Oh and yes uncle, the line is secure and I haven't given the number to anyone. This is just for you and me.

(IMITATING AMELIA'S VOICE AGAIN)

Leave your message after the beep.

BEEP

INTERVIEWER (VERY SOBER TONE OF VOICE)

Hello Lorraine. Gosh, I wish I was in the Catskills right now. Did I tell you about that time I fell down Kaaterskill Falls? I was in a rowing boat with Joey and Salvatore, mapping out the area for Mr Parton's death, when -

Oh, uhm… Sorry. No time for stories.

(SHOCKED AT HIMSELF) No time for stories? Did I really just say that? There's always time for a story.

I... I.. uhm…. I'm not well Lorraine. I would like to see you. I'm in Paris. Montmartre. Just off Place du Tertre.

Remember that time I took you here for your tenth birthday, when a busker stole my wallet and you chased him down, cornered him, and pummeled him with a baguette? (CHUCKLES) It's that street. I think of it every time I step out of the door.

Purple door. Number 8. You can't miss it. Can you take the first Eurostar tomorrow morning? I'll reimburse you when you get here, I -

Sorry, I- I know you make good money now, it's just - I... I like taking care of you, you know?

I would really like to see you.

I'm about to go out now. Taking an evening stroll with Alvina. But I'll check the answerphone for your reply as soon as I get back. (CLEARS THROAT)

Hell, I'll even break a lifetime's habit and take the (WITH DISTASTE) "smart phone" with me so you can reach me while I'm out.

(SUDDENLY CHEERFUL) Did you know Alicia Cairn is doing a live show in Paris next month? We could go together! If... if… (BREAKS OFF)

Well.

Call me when you get this, ok?

BEEP.

END OF PROLOGUE.